Euro-Trash: Venice..The City of Romance...(Warning...This is quite explicit!)

Finally! We have reached Venice! We took a pleasent ferry ride to our hotel

Venice main square!! It was crazy crowded!

We have to pretend to like each other sometimes:)

and no, we arent holding hands.

ha ha

Cuuuttee:)

Mommy and daddy

Half of the kids group.

Yeah we know,

Everyone has their stunna shades on,

at least we're original ..ya dig?

GELATO.GELATO.GELATO.GELATO.GELATO.

Does this surprise you?

So thank goodness,

There was a beach!!!

5 minute walk from our hotel:)

mmm...sunshine...

beautiful beach.

What more could you ask for?

Hey, hold up.

You don't even need to get up, clean the sand off of ya, and go to a shopping mall..

the stores come to you:)

whaaa???

minus the fact that their all from mexico.

Do they think we are stupid and really believe they are selling couture clothing?

Ah, we were getting soooo excited for a peaceful, perfect day at the beach..

mmhhm..

all smiles..

untill...

ten minutes before this photo was snapped.

2 men, age 40, age 20,

saunter on over to us as we bask in the heat of the day,

sit down,

start speaking italian,

and getting very, very close to us.

40 year old sat next to me, he asked where I was from, I say U.S, he say Italy, he then asked my name, I told him Nikki, thinking, okay, Nicolette is a little rough to say for a foreigner, i'll give him my easy name.

Nope. Didn't help, dumb guy kept calling me Gichy Gichy.

your kidding right?

So 20 year old is keeping a fair distance from Carly but making friendly conversation. He spoke better english than 40 year old creep a**.

What they were wearing?...20 year old was wearing a saggy red speedo. 40 year old was wearing semi see through tiny white shorts.

Lets also mention that he had a blob of un rubbed in sun block sitting on his nose. gross

All of a sudden 40 year old starts trying to rub my leg.

carly turned around in perfect timing and slapped his hand away saying "NO"

If that didn't scare him enough ( i mean come on, who wouldn't be scared of carly after she did that?)

He asks if he can kiss me!!!?

I say no no no, we don't kiss, we don't kiss.

Stupid 40 yr. old then reverts to kissing my leg? ..My LEG??!

Continually saying "ooo, gichy gitchy, bella bella,,,ooo so beautiul.."

I was actually getting freaked out at this point and started saying "well we need to go find our mom and dad!"

We start standing up, and creep leans in to hug me.

I'm thinkin, okay, better than him leaning in for a kiss, i'll hug and run.

Nope, thought too soon.

He hugged me, then squezzed me close to him and started kissing my cheek, neck, shoulder, arm, then let go and french kissed my effing hand!!!!!!!!

I thought i was getting raped.

I just kept repeating "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO"

oh my hell...so so, so! scary.

Who does that?

Beware of creepy creepy 40 year old virgins, on beaches in Venice.

Scariest day of my life.

After a horrible encounter with creepy men, we start searching for a new spot to lay out, a spot where there are plenty of people...along the way, we met sand woman.

Carly, literally thought she was real?

I mean that does look pretty legit yeah?

We went up to it,

poked it,

just to check ya know?

then stole some sea shells:)

Carly was feeling a little left out, since I got raped. ..For some reason she thought that touching the fake sand woman would satisfy her urge.

Ah, finally safe at last. No more innapropriate moments...ready to relax and enjoy our first day in Venice.

mmm...nope. When in rains it poures.

And i mean poures!!!

Some of the most interesting people in the world, keep in mind these next few pictures were literally taken in a matter of 10 minutes. Bad things just kept on coming.

Only in Venice.

scene number 1.

This is a shout out to my niece Kate.

You started this trend, and girl, look what you've done? Their doin it all across the globe now?

You rock:)

mm..gotta love butt crack on beach

plus, you assume she probably ate her clothes.

you have to feel bad a little.

Its not her fault that she was naked,

she got hungry,

a girls gotta eat.

boys boys boys....for some reason it was so humorous for these young bucks to roll around in the sand, get it up their butt crack, nose, and mouth, jump in the ocean, and do it all again.

Bryson and Brad...you belong here. May you please take your european swimsuits to Europe? I promise you will fit in.

EVERYONE. wore the nastiest speedos.

Then, to add to it, they'd play futbol like this, and run, and jump, and ...you know what i'm sayin.

Grosssss!!!!

Especially when they don't even fit!

come on,

may i also mention that women would lay on the sand, swimsuit bottoms on, no swimsuit top on .

letting their pasty white boobs burn!!!

I took a picture of some,

then realized that was so wrong of me.

ha ha oh dear.

Meet Fabio.

And his soul mate Helga behind him.

Just having a gay old time on the beach, on his cell phone....

AND! OPENLY ITCHING HIS JEWELS!

come on people!!

ha ha ha,

lets think before we do!

This city is just full of all sorts of sexuality. Even the over weight statues!

Smoochy smoochy!

ICE! We got ICE! After a horrible, graphic, rated "R" day, we got ICE! ah:)

So, we get ice.

Cool cool,

We're happy.

Then Ralphy, (man in the back, blue pants, resembles a turtle), decides to get mad at me and carly becuase we don't want to eat the freakin plastic noodles they gave us.

Called us picky eaters.

You don't do that with this family.

Carly was not happy.